TheJ3st3r

Sir! I Thank you once more.

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you. 2. Incoming fire has the right of way. 3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire. 4. There is always a way. 5. The easy way is always mined. 6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo. 7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous. 8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: a. When you're ready for them. b. When you're not ready for them. 9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at. 10. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed at you. 11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack. 12. A "sucking chest wound" is natures way of telling you to slow down. 13. If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush. 14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you. 15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing. 16. Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out. 17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 18. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in a combat zone. 19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy. 20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder. 21. Friendly Fire Isn't. 22. A three second fuse is never three seconds. 23. Tracer fire works bothways.

Why could the pirates not play cards? Because the captain was stood on the deck!

Why don't pirates go to strip clubs? Because they allready have all the booty!

What did the first mate see down the toilet? The captains log!

What is a Pirates favourite shop? Arrrgos!

What happens when you take the "P" out of Pirate? He becomes "Irate"!

What do you call a pirate that has both his hands, two eyes and two legs? A novice!

How much did the pirate pay for his piercing? A buccaneer!

What happened to Blue beard when he jumped into the Red sea? He became marooned!

What has four hands four eyes & four legs? Eight pirates!

Why do pirates never bathe? Beacause they know when they walk the plank they wil "wash up" on shore!

Why are pirates such good sailors? Just becasue they Arrrrrrrr!

My Handle came from my RN days. Most peple are given their nicknames/ handles in a few days and usally at basic training. I had been lucky and slipped through the net so to speak. But whilst on a tour doing a line dive, we had to do a stop off, Which if anyone has ever gone scubadiving can tell you doing stop off's are boring. So I was getting a bit bored just bobbling around so to aliviate bordem I opened comms and started rhyming off as many bad jokes as I could remeber. Unknown to be I was broadcasting Sub wide. So when I did surface and climbed aboard, I was greeted by the captain with the statment of "So you think the the local Jester do you!". From that day I was for ever doomed & learnt beasting out to sea is worse than at any base or port.

My Handle is TheJ3st3r, I'm a semi Ret RN Submariner /Diver. Curentley paying MW2 on & off. I found yourselves via Google & reddit. Here to have fun and eye up the naffi. I am at the age where, Old enough to know better daft enough to do it!